Indiana Jones and the markets of Marrakesh

The mountain roads were very steep and meandered through the cloud line and onto the snow covered peaks they were just amazing to see. I never thought that I would ever be standing high on the backbone of Africa.
The skiing area was no different than would be found in any mountainous country, the time of the year didn’t matter as the slopes were open all year round due to the height. I had never skied before. I persevered all morning and by lunch it was apparent I was not naturally talented. Tobogganing was a much safer alternative and was just as much fun. We stayed at various resorts for a few days before we set of for Marrakesh.
It didn’t take us long to descend to the desert floor, the experience was hairy, once down, the road was straight and long we stopped for petrol, filling up two land rovers and several Jerry cans.

The petrol station was just a solitary pump in the middle of nowhere, a small boy sat under a blanket awning. He cranked a handle through 360 degrees and I think he was pulling the fuel through from Saudi Arabia; the experience of waiting in the heat of the desert has remained with me all these years. Two hours later we got on our way and a few hours after that we arrived at our destination.

The place was just like a stage set for Indiana Jones, commotion rained narrow lanes people in shabby clothing and street sellers every were, it was soon obvious that there was no road etiquette and manners were just wasted on the French speaking natives.
It wasn’t long before we had an accident when the spars of a cart punctured the side of one of the vehicles; the damage was minor however the cart vendor needed paying off.
Marrakesh was fantastic, the dessert trains had just arrived for market and the place was just hooching with fire eaters, jugglers and magicians there were people chewing glass and walking on fire.

Snake charmers were in abundance, there were stalls selling local delicacies and fruits of various international origins. I viewed a man push a six inch nail up his nose, I wouldn’t have ever believed that it was real until he removed his hat and pulled it out again. The place was mind boggling; we stayed there for two days and had a wonderful time bartering for cheep goods.
There was two aspect of the place that were not to my taste and that was the amount of drug pushers and also the number of deformed and disabled beggars. The morning we left, our departure was hampered by unseen damage to one of the land rovers a Hydraulic pipe had been split by the impact of the cart, makeshift repairs were carried out and we set off on our return to Algiers, this time by way of the coast.Our next stop was at a seaside town that time had forgot.

The chief in charge of our party decided to have his beard trimmed, it was such an unusual occurrence that the barber decided to carry out the procedure in the middle of the main street. There must have been over a hundred spectators to watch the spectacle.

Rotten Teeth and the light switch saga

Straight St, (The Gut)

The visit to Malta went well, I enjoyed playing football and also the evening entertainment, there was one regrettable incident that happened one night before we sailed, I was duty on board the ship, it was after lights out and I had just finished doing rounds of the ship. Rounds were carried out with an officer to make sure that there was nothing untoward occurring throughout the ship. The shore patrol had arrived back after there duties ashore. Unfortunately they had been drinking but had managed to elude the officer of the day. I arrived at my mess at the same time as a Leading hand that had been in charge of the shore party. He was the worse for wares and was intent on causing me grief, I was getting changed ready to turn in when he arrogantly switched the light off, I was in no way causing any disturbance to anybody else, and was unable to see in the darkness, I switched the light back on and told him I would only be a few seconds, at this point he switched the light off and told me it was a direct order. The consequences could have been really shit but I felt I was on steady ground so I switched the light back on.
At that, the leading hand launched at me; instinctively I punched out in self defence. He hit the ground and never moved for what seamed like ages.

The commotion had woken several others who soon arrived to help him to the sick bay. I was stood in my underwear shaking due to the enormity of what had just happened. I could just imagine being court-martialled.
There was blood everywhere and some was dripping off my hand, I cleaned myself up in the bathrooms but the cuts to my knuckles needed stitches so I had no option than to go to the sick bay. I arrived to find the leading hand, Fred Frebarro being taken into the ships theatre. The sick bay attendant asked me what had happened as he checked my hand, before I managed to reply, he said, “ by the state of these knuckles I bet you fell down the same ladder as him”! I was so relieved with the feeling that it was all going to be covered up. The shore patrol had returned drunk and the trouble that would have ensued would have been an embarrassment for the captain, the ship and the Navy. Fred Frebarro recovered quickly, although not as pretty as before. Someone remembered me years later when our paths crossed and reminded me I was the person who separated Fred Frebarro from his front teeth, It turned out to be his brother in law who was also onboard Glamorgan at the same time. I was only seventeen then, I am now nearly fifty and have never felt the need to hit anybody since that day.

We sailed for more exercises in the Med, returning to Gibraltar on the way home. There was a raffle held on board before we reached Gib, the prize was seven days in Marocco skiing in the Atlas mountains and visiting the city of Marakesh. There were twelve places available, Well I must have been faited or it may have been that I worked in the Fleet Chief's mess and for all my grovelling I was being rewarded. The expedition was travelling in two Nuffield trust landrovers from Algiers into the mountains to spend two days skiing, we past through customs with ease after crossing greasy palms with silver. The first night was spent in a Hotel on the slopes of the the Atlas mountains.

The evening meal was quite inedible, watery soup and a slice of unraised bread. We slept in pairs, the rooms were very large, or maybe they just seamed that way, after all I had just shared the same room space with many sailors. I shared a room with my friend Taff Savage, Taff also lost teeth in Malts but that was for ungentlemenly conduct which involved a cigarette and a prostitutes breasts, but thats another story.

The room was very basic, but it did have a toilet with a screen to hid any modesty, we turned in early as there was no bar and no electric lights in the hotel, we could have played cards by candle light I suppose. In the middle of the night I woke to do the toilet, number two's. In the dark I found the toilet and proceeded to purge myself. After I tried to find the flush , there appeared to be none and indeed no paper, I searched in vain, and had to use underpants instead. I threw them out of the window. In the morning I was awakened by Taff saying whats that fucking smell. I explained to him what had happened, it was at this point I found out what a bidet looks like.

We travelled on in the morning after a light breakfast I never did manage to flush and or retrieve my underpants, I wonder what the staff must have thought after we had gone.

Malta the Knights and the Gut

Fort St Angelo, Malta, Grand Harbour

The battle with Ollie Reed over, we set sail, the next port of call was going to be Malta were we were going to spend a short time in “DED” a maintenance period, this was to be in Valleta, at Fort St Angello in Grand Harbour.

The British had all but left Malta and the Communist backed Don Mintoff was riding high in the local polls. The Royal Navy and Malta have a very close frienship and the local population always come to see the arrival of The Fleet and the welcome was just as warm this time as it always was.
Grand harbour was just a splendour to see. The history behind the British Navy and it long relationship with the Island spans centuries and now I like my father before me was also part of that history. The navy was in my blood and always would be, I still felt my heart swelling when colours were sounded and the ensign hoisted aloft.
We continued to exercise with NATO country's all the way to Malta, I had listened intently to the stories of Malta and of those who had been there before me, I remembered as a Child I had lived on the island whilst my father had served at St Angelo, the memories of the period were almost non existant but I remembered some small things.
First night ashore and my first time on a dghajsa, it was a small vessel, a punt, not unlike those found in Venice the driver only had one paddle and was perched very precariously on the stern, probably not a disadvantage in Venice but was very skillful on the tidal crossing of grand harbour.

Never mind the history of Malta, The Nights Templar, the fortifications, the holiday resorts, I was attracted like a moth to a lamp to the place were for decades before me sailors from the navy battleships and frigates had gone on their visits to the Island, "the Gut", the Gut, real name Straight street, and for two hundred yards on both side of a very narrow thoroughfare there was bar after bar after tattoo artist after bar this place was full of woman, woman of ill repute who would for a few pounds introduce you to there daughters. The doorways to bars were very narrow and when within would open out to a usually seedy bar full of smoke with naval ships crests covering the walls. In some bars music would play very loudly and the sound would echo the full length of the Gut enticing sailors to spend their hard earned pounds on woman and marzavin.

The top of the gut was patrolled by Naval Provost marshal regulators and the bottom of the street was patrolled by the Royal Marines, most sailors would enter in a fit state but would be found crawling out of the bottom or top in a severe state of drunkenness.

My first visit to the Gut was not any different to what I have just described. I arrived with fellow ship mates and started on what could only be described as a pub crawl, it was known that it was impossible to go down one side and up the other and stay on your feet, many had tried. I was in no way a hardened drinker and I could only try in my own way to keep up with the flow of drink, the jokes and dits were spun constantly and the more drink the funnier they became, I lasted for about three hours before my legs gave way and I was helped to the top of the street. Naturally enough I was arrested by the regulators and thrown in the back of a provosts van.

It wasn't long before the van was full and we set off for the steps at the harbour, opposite St Angello, we hadn't gone far before I shouted that I was going to be sick, the van came to a sudden halt and sailors fell everywhere the back doors flew open and it was if a signal had been given, there was a rush for freedom and I found myself lying in the van with my head over the back bumper retching.

Eventually we reached the harbour and I think the regulators were embarrassed by such a small catch as they told me to return to my ship and nothing else would be said. I have no recollection of the rest of the night but I was up for it again the next night.

British Bobbie's and Red Telephone boxes

My first run ashore in Gibraltar was exactly that, a race to the top of the rock organised by the club swinger. My unknowing preparation around the ships deck I had thought, would stand me in good stead, unfortunately it didn’t, and I just followed the masses on the meandering road to the top. We passed landmarks on the way but I never looked up from my feet, I remember feeling sick and walking at several places, the time it took me was totally inconsequential but I knew I had done it.
My memories those days are still vivid as I was achieving new firsts every day.
I have a photograph of myself with a palm leave that I had acquired from one of the few trees, a colossal achievement as I was pissed at the time and managed to get it passed not only the police but also the gangway staff. I remember thinking to myself how strange it was being in a foreign country and seeing British policemen and red telephone boxes. Well I never knew it was a British colony!
Waking the next morning still cuddling my palm leave I must have looked ridiculous, my problem was I now had to get rid of it. My time in Gibraltar was memorable and throughout my career I was to return there many times.

We sailed for exercises with NATO forces in the Mediterranean and our next port of call which was going to be Malta.
A few days out of Gibraltar when I was at ends thinking of with what to do with myself, I decided to go and watch A the 4.5 inch turret in action, I had never seen a gun firing and not knowing any better set off to watch. I had a grandstand view from the Exocet launcher deck which was right behind the twin barrel gun. I was watching for some time before I could just hear someone shouting from above and behind me due to the noise coming from the guns, it was hard to make out. Shortly after that the firings stopped, yet again in my career I heard “that man” “Oh shit, would have been My first thought, “You there come up to the Bridge”, I set off at pace to what I thought would be some sort of bollocking, I wasn’t disappointed, the officer who had shouted said he had just seen the top of my head and wondered what the fcku I was doing, it became obvious he was concerned about my welfare, I received a serious dressing down for my stupidity and became the talk of the ship for a few days, I have no doubt that It is still a dit that is being passed from one generation to another!

The danger I had faced was, when a gun fires there is flashback from the muzzle and is it quite capable of seriously burning skin, I learnt my lesson and so did the navy, “Teach young sailors to dangers that they would encounter at sea", that would have been the best response, the thought of having lost my good looks and hair, fills me full of horror.
I expect the lesson was reported and there were changes to training.

Instead of Malta we stopped of in the French Riviera at a small place call Ville France, we anchored off and rigged side lighting, we where then visited by Lord Mountbatten and a young Prince Charles. It was obviously an impromptu visit, we all had a few hours ashore but it was obvious it was a liaison visit. The Cannes festival was on at the time and the Wardroom had invited several Movie stars to visit for a "cock and arse party" I remember well seeing Lord Mountbatten and could'nt help thinking what a mess his uniform was in, but I guess nobody would have dared tell him that.

Roger Moore came with several gorgeous followers also Lord Olivia, Oliver Reed, Bridgette Bardot and many other beautiful female actors of the time. Oliver Reed was drunk as a Skunk and he asked to join the ratings in their mess for a beer rather than spend time with the wardroom. His wish was granted probably much to the delight of the officers.


He managed to drink most of the evenings beer ration and was sad that he was unable to buy more.







I remember having to work that evening as the gangway handrail had become electrically live and was giving all the visitors electric shocks as they disembarked their launches, funny really, it didn't take long to fix but long enough for Oliver Reed to get his marching orders from the ship for being incapable, he was helped ashore by means of the Captains Huntress. The admirals personal fanny boat.

The next morning Oliver Reed passed by on the Port side in his own Chinese junk flying the skull and crossbones, he fired a starting canon at the ship and proceeded to drop his trousers and moon at the officer of the watch. Never a dull day!

Cinderella Leave

                      
My first foreign run ashore in the Navy was in Toulon, A very large French navy port, in many ways it was just like Portsmouth except they spoke weird and the beer was sold in millilitres not in pints.
My leave was only ever until 2359 by which time if I was not on board I would be standing at the officer of the days table the next day for consequential punishment, that was normally a couple 
of days pay or even worse a couple of days leave.
It was called Cinderella leave for obvious reasons. The Captain takes parental responsibility for those ratings under the age of seventeen and a half, a responsibility he took very seriously. Not being able to drink and not allowed to stay out late caused a few problems when seeking out the opposite sex but as long as I returned without appearing intoxicated and on time I was alright.

Toulon was behind us and Gibraltar ahead. The ship was to be the Gibraltar guard ship for six months; this meant little to me except that in between a few days or weeks sailing in the Mediterranean, we were alongside in the dockyard.
I had found that getting exercise at sea was quite easy, the ship had its own club swinger, not to be mistaken for swingers club, and there was always competitions for one sport or other, deck hockey on the flight deck was always popular and also fitness sessions that would leave me wrecked. I enjoyed running around the upper deck, it was mainly a wooden deck and providing the weather was fine there was never any restrictions. I used to run for miles but I suppose I could have called them nautical miles. I did Karate some evenings during the week; I found a switchboard room that served the purpose well. The ambient temperature was high due to its location next to the boiler room and I used to be soaked in sweat,

The Chinese laundry were only to happy to wash, dry and iron my clothes, they would be back on my bunk the very next day.
Latterly I had a good re pore with the Chinese laundry men, probably due to my promotion to maintaining their electrical equipment. If I needed something washed and ironed fast I used to pull out the fuses for one of the dryers, they were so grateful that when I "fixed it" I would get anything done and a few beers thrown in as well. It was funny they never had names but were known as numbers, starting at one. The laundry was not very salubrious and they slept worked and ate down there. Most nights they would be found playing cards or Mahjong. The laundrymen loved their time ashore in Gib they were to be found most nights at the casino.

Old Shipmates

Junior Ordinance Electrical Mechanic Second Class and at seventeen there was only one way to go and that was up, I sailed on my first ship and as expected I was sick as a dog, I never got used to sea sickness but the symptoms did alleviate the longer we spent at sea.
For the first time I crossed the Bay of Biscay and I had a bucket attached around my neck for most of the voyage.

I was now billeted with real sea dogs and just like a compendium of nautical books, there was  stories of adventures, of drinking and womanising these were frequent, I got taken in by these old hands and I am sure now having sailed the world over myself that most of there dits were a lot of old cobblers.
There were many characters whose paths crossed from one ship to another and they would recall runs ashore in foreign ports that they had shared and they in turn would recall old shipmates and their antics, stories that would be passed from one ship to another and from one generation to another, this would help the time at sea pass when not actually working.
Each days itinerary was detailed the day before as to exactly what was to happen, this came in the form of daily orders,  and it would be posted around the ship for all to see, in the form of daily orders. Details such as “call the hands” and “pipe down”, dress of the day, meal times and twice a week the evening movie.
Once a month Pay day arrived and as previously, when ashore, we had to line up in alphabetical order and receive our pay in our caps, thank god that eventually it was put straight into a bank account but that did'nt happen for many years.

My duties as a electrical rating were not very trying and it was not long before I started to strive to attain more knowledge, I used to draw electrical circuits for fun and to understand how things worked, much to the consternation of some of the older hands who had just done enough to get bye for many years.

I was made "The mess man" of the Warrant officers mess, my duties included cleaning their shoes, polishing the “heads”, general cleanliness duties, I took to them well and was awarded with  a blue station card for all my efforts,
this meant that I had no normal duties when in port other than to attend to the Warrant Officers, Cleaning spitkids and washing up the beer tankards was probably the worst of the tasks. The toilets were always gleaming as they were made of brass and I spent hours rubbing them with Bluebell.

"Brown Hatter's overalls"

That night ... by Telzey

My first night aboard was eventful, embarrassing really, having arrived in my mess deck "3P", the letter denotes how far aft you are on the ship and the number is the deck level down from the upper deck. The mess was relatively comfortable but compact, there were men sat in the mess square drinking and playing cards. I was welcomed in as a new member and told this was the greenies mess, I was shown to my bunk and told that I would have to live out of my Kit bag for a while as there was no lockers available.
Naval tradition ensured that everyone was in bed by a certain time, “lights out” or “Pipe down” after which only watch keepers would be found wandering the ship. When that time came I opened my kitbag and pulled out my Pyjamas, my mum had insisted I take them, they had been my fathers, "made of good Irish linen and almost brand new",! she had said.





My first mistake, pyjamas were alien to me anyway so I think it was the thought of walking to my bed in my underpants in front of strangers, but then again it wasn't as if it was the first time since I had joined the navy. I entered the mess square and approached my bunk, the ambient noise of sailors talking stopped and I became aware of the sound of a running ventilation fan next to where I was going to be sleeping. I turned to get into my bed when the mess erupted in laughter. “Brown hatters overalls and Oh my god what are they sending to sea now a days” were among many other jovial abusive remarks that I had to incur

I learnt a good life lesson that night and never ever wore "brown hatters overalls again. ”Thanks mum”, no wonder they were almost brand new. “ Thanks Dad”, you must have known what would happen.

I had the middle bunk, of three high, sixty people sleeping in an area not much bigger than an average living room. The ship had several such messes , usually each different branch ie: electrical ratings would share a mess along side electrical ratings. Stokers would share with stokers and so on. The higher ranked ratings would get better accommodation and officers would sleep in the wardroom annex. This was up in the superstructure of the ship. The ship was outfitted for a flag rank officer and his accommodation was sumptuous in comparison to the rest, he even had a small annex for his own bath.












HMS Glamorgan was a fine ship and my first job on her was "a lamp tramp” I spent all day every day changing light bulbs. However when we sailed for the first time I had other duties to perform.

HMS Glamorgan

  

I left HMS Collingwood with my green pusser’s suitcase and my kitbag. The sum of all my worldly goods, at least I didn’t have to take a hammock with me that would have been too much. I got a taxi all the way to the ship as the weather was not in my favour.

Portsmouth dockyard was a dark and dismal place normally but when it was raining it was just the pits. The many jetties were doubled up with ships, the dry docks were all in use but on a wet Sunday in spring there was hardly anybody to be seen.
The taxi driver knew his way around the dockyard, the knowledge gained over many years, his wealth of knowledge of shipping movement in and out surprised me but listening to drunken matelots on return from the various pubs and clubs every evening gave him a better insight to what was happening with the fleet than most admirals.

We arrived at HMS Glamorgan in good time, I remember just sitting and staring for what seamed ages, my thought pattern was broken by being asked for the fare.

Having disembarked from the cab I remember just standing for a while looking at my first ship she seamed huge, she was shored up in a dry dock there was no grey paint on her at all, she was orange from the bow to the stern, looked like vandals had been tagging, someone had painted right across the stern "R.O.M.F.T.

It was months before I heard the ROMFT said, this time in a drunken conversation, I was to embarrassed to ask what it meant. That would have shown my greeness, I found out later it was “Roll on my fucking time”, it was said commonly by disgruntled sailors if they wanted to move jobs, ships or even out of the navy, on one occasion I heard it used when talking about a divorce.
I eventually managed up the gangway with my cumbersome load the boatswain at the top watched me struggle, I remember the smirk, "Salute the flag", he shouted at me as I arrived at the top, I had completely forgot the naval etiquette in my labours. I gave him my papers, he knew I was coming. Just seventeen I was feeling overwhelmed and he obviously sensed it. He made a phone call and shortly afterwards someone arrived to show me to my mess deck.

Making a pond

I do have a life that is not steeped in masts, cannons, sailing ships and jack speak.

This is my weekend project that has taken many months and not finished in a long shot, it will be nice to keep it as a record and just something to blog about.

The process is boring but the end product
will hopefully be worth all the hard work.
It is a family effort me, angela my wife and my grandaugthter Kayleigh.

Make a slideshow - it's easy!

Choice's, Choice's.

Type 21 Frigate

I joined my next class of trainees and continued through my training at Collingwood, it wasn’t long before I had finished this phase of my training and looking forward to joining my first ship.
The navy at the time was in a transition period and all the new ships being built were much smaller and they were powered and driven by gas turbines this was the class 21 frigate. One day as part of my training we had an away day trip to the Dockyard at Portsmouth we had the opportunity to have a look around one, HMS Active she was very modern and I thought “yes this would do me very nicely thank you, unfortunately picking where you wanted to go was not quite that easy.
It was only a few days later that we were all instructed on how to fill in a Drafting Preference Card, not so simple. This was provided we were told, to provide the navy with the information that they could use to ensure that sailors were, as much as could be possibly guaranteed a choice in there own future. The form was simple enough!
“What naval port do you want? What type of ship do you want? However the form then became like a bookies slip, give your preference in order of preference, is the port more important than the ship? Give your type of ship preference; if your preference of ship is deploying to a foreign port is this more important? The form was well presented and on completion, you had provided enough information for them to put you were they liked! It made you feel that you had been given the choice.
I waited with baited breath to find what square hole they were going to put this round peg in.
Eventually the day came when we were all given our sealed envelopes. There had been lots of hype about the outcome of our Christmas lists and many were expecting to get there dream, that was, to be drafted to the ship they wanted and the port they wanted. I had asked for the new type 21 frigate running from Portsmouth, they gave me Portsmouth which was fine, and they gave me HMS Glamorgan a county Class Destroyer.

HMS GLAMORGAN

I was ignorant of what type of ship she was so I thought that will do me I suppose. Others got there dream but some trainees got the equivalent of a car ferry running from Largs, there was some tears.